WPT Principles 4 | Thoughtful disagreement
A mindset shift. How do I go from “I know I’m right”, to “How do I know I’m right?”
How do I increase our odds of being right? How do we give ourselves the best opportunity to increase success and get the outcomes we want? Does it matter if it’s you that’s right? How do we prevent ego from getting in the way and creating a blind spot, distorting or blocking our ability to see another perspective and pivot to a better direction, leading to an improved reality?
Occasionally, there are times when we should only be the student. We are discussing a topic where one person has a disproportionate amount of expertise and knowledge in an area compared to the area. The relative rookie should take a back seat, primarily ask questions and seek to understand.
But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about a circumstance where there isn’t a clear cut path forward, and you’re working through issues with people that are on the relatively similar plane of understanding. These are the big questions, and the questions that need tackling. These are the opportunities that are in the margins of what is going to really make a difference in the direction of the partnership/team.
Think about a marriage. And think about all of the sticky, very unclear decisions that should be navigated by the couple. How do we demonstrate security and safety to our kids? How do we demonstrate tough love? In what quantity? How do we invest our money? How much should we invest? How do we foster togetherness? How do we foster independence? What are our agreed upon ways for resolving conflict?
Does anyone have an exact playbook on these topics?? The reality is these are challenging questions. There’s no one right answer.
But what does seem a little more clear cut to me is the best way to navigate how we discuss these challenging topics. When there isn’t complete cohesion out of the gate on an important matter, how do we proceed?
Stay tuned for the next blog post where we talk about how we approach this topic.